David Read online

  A look of deadly intent came over David's features. "Not much. The son of a bitch would be dead. Problem solved."

  "Then give me your gun and give me her address."

  David's lips pulled into a heartbreaking grin, and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "But then you’d go to jail. I can't have that."

  "Right now, I'd rather be in jail then here feeling this way." The tremble spurred into a hard shake as she tried to cram the tears down.

  His head dropped hers, "Lori, please. Please believe me. I don't know what she said to you, and I fucking want to kill her for even insinuating anything. Call Greer and ask him. Ask him what I think about that woman. I can't stand her. I would never ever do anything with her." David took her face between his palms. "And I would never ever consider cheating on you."

  Every single cell in her body urged her to believe him. It would be so easy; everything could go back to the way it had been. Simple. Straightforward. Cold.

  "No. Even if you didn't have an affair with her, something is wrong with our marriage. We need help."

  "Tell me what to do. I'll do anything."

  David’s whispered words scraped across her aching soul and Lori reached up and brushed his thumb over his cheek. "I wish I knew the answer."

  David stepped back, withdrawing from her and leaving her empty. Emptier than she could ever remember feeling.

  He cleared his throat. "Do you need some space?"

  Did she want him even further away than she was now? No, she wanted him to take her into his arms and make her believe him. Make everything better like he used to do. But she couldn't say that, because she still didn't really trust him.

  The office affair was just too perfect an explanation. The rational part of her mind whispered that so was his job, so was his undercover work, but the jealous monster inside her didn't allow that reason through.

  Lori squared her shoulders. She might give in to him someday, and she might believe him at some point, but not tonight. "Why don't you sleep on the couch tonight?"

  xxx

  Lori may as well have plunged a knife into his chest.

  The only time in their marriage that they’d slept apart had been involuntary. Due to his work or when the kids were babies. That was it.

  He hated sleeping away from her, but the short separations always made coming home that much sweeter. Only now his home was a huge chasm with him on one side, Lori on the other, and a broken bridge between them. A bridge that he had every intention of rebuilding, only this time, he would reinforce it with fucking titanium.

  Lori went upstairs, the kids went to bed, and the house grew quiet. Too quiet. David tapped his foot on the floor, lay back on the couch, and grabbed the remote. He turned the TV on and flipped through every channel. Did she really expect him to stay down here all night?

  He glanced down as his fingers drummed non-stop on his knee, and his lips twisted. What had happened to the hard-assed agent who could sit for seventy-two hours on a stake-out?

  He couldn’t stay down here and allow the rift between them to widen. David shot to his feet and paced to the kitchen, but the family photo beside the door confronted him.

  They had hired a professional photographer after Miley was born. David held Tim on his hip, while Lori cradled Miley in her arms. In the photo, David looked down at his smiling wife, his expression filled possession and love. He’d told Lori he would never let her go. They were family.

  The people in that photograph acted like strangers now. David's clean-cut face was now hidden behind a scruffy beard and hair long enough to pull back in a ponytail. He’d let himself go. On the inside and on the outside. He’d gotten so immersed in the job, he’d let his family go, turning a blind eye when Lori’s happy glow faded.

  Before he knew it, David bounded up the stairs and stopped at Tim’s door. His son lay in bed, reading a book under the lamplight.

  "I thought you were asleep."

  Tim glanced over with heavy lidded eyes and yawned. "Had to finish this chapter. Have to see what happens next."

  David approached and sat down on the bed. "Lord of the Rings? Thats some pretty heavy duty reading."

  Tim nodded. "My teacher says I'm reading above my grade level and wants me to challenge myself more."

  Shit, he didn't even know Tim's teacher’s name…much less what grade level his son was reading at. David’s belief that he was a good father slipped a little more. "I know I don't say it enough, but I'm so proud of you. And I'm going to make it to every single ball game for the rest of the year, even if I have to miss work."

  David held his breath, waiting for Tim to tell him he didn’t believe him, that he sucked as a father. But even worse, his son’s expression flattened out into a careful blank. The exact same expression David had seen victims get when they were about to lie. “Dad—”

  David held up a hand, cutting him off. “No. I know I screwed up. I let work get in the way of my family. But I’m telling you, it stops right now.”

  Tim laid his book down and fiddled with his bookmark. “Mommy is sad all the time.”

  He might as well have put a gun to David’s chest and pulled the trigger. It was so bad that his nine-year-old son noticed? "I’ll fix it."

  Tim kept his head down. “You said that before.”

  David tipped Tim’s chin up with a finger, and his sad expression nearly sent David to his knees. “I know I did. I let you down. But I swear, I will not do it again. I love you and Miley. And I love your mother.”

  “Are you and mommy getting a divorce?"

  “Never.” David had thought getting shot was painful, but it was nothing compared to the searing pain brought on by Tim’s question. He yanked Tim into a fierce hug. “If I have to fight with the last breath in my body, me and your mom are staying together. Got that?"

  Tim returned his hug and nodded against his shoulder. He’d gone too long with out talking to his son. Too long without being involved. Like Lori was supposed to mother and father. "Tim, do you think you can help me do something nice for mommy?"

  "What?" Tim sat back.

  "You’ve got to keep it a secret, promise?"

  "I swear." Tim’s big brown eyes, so much like Lori’s, widened.

  "I called your grandma, and she's going to let you and Miley come stay with her for a couple of weeks, so that I can make mommy happy again. And she mentioned something about her horse having a colt she wanted you to meet...?"

  "Yes!" Tim jumped to his feet and bounced on the bed. "His name is stormy. I'm going to learn to ride him. I get to have my very own horse."

  David placed a finger over his lips. "Shhh. Not if you don't keep it down, son. You're going to blow the whole plan," David said with a huge grin.

  "Oh, sorry." Tim dropped down, and his voice went to a whisper, "You think mom heard?"

  "I think we're safe this time. But don't tell Miley. You know she can't keep a secret." That was an understatement. One year David made the mistake of telling Miley what he’d bought Lori for her birthday, and Miley had blabbed it all over the house. Then she’d convinced him, or guilted him, into telling her what he bought Lori for Christmas. Not even a hour passed before Lori knew about the diamond earrings.

  "You mean like when she told mom about your present?"

  David nodded. "Exactly. This is boys’ club only information—got it?"

  "Yes, sir." Tim saluted.

  "Now, go to sleep. You’re gonna have a busy couple of weeks taking care of that new pony.”

  * * *

  Anticipation ate at David. He’d struggled to maintain the status quo with Lori when all he wanted to do was throw her over his shoulder and march upstairs to their bedroom. Saturday morning, Lori left for her hair appointment at nine o’clock sharp, promising to put in a good word for Rayland. As soon as her car disappeared from their street, he scooped the kids up and booked it to meet his mother-in-law.

  At noon, he pulled back into their drive. Lori’s highlights took three ho
urs. He gripped the steering wheel, grinding his palms against the leather. Not enough time.

  He grabbed his cell and dialed his wife. “Lori, where are you?”

  “You know where I am. At the salon.” Her voice clearly indicated he’d intruded on her alone time.

  “Great. I need you to run by the grocery store on the way home. We’re out of a few things.” David gripped the wheel harder with his right hand, struggling to keep his voice even.

  Lori’s sigh nearly knocked his excitement down a notch. He knew she dropped her head into her hand and rubbed fingers across her forehead. He could picture the look of disappointment. “Sure. Anything else?”

  He needed Lori. But not yet. He needed more time. “No. I’ll text you the list. Love you.”

  She hesitated, and his heart clenched. If he were Superman, the wheel would have been crushed into dust in his grip. David realized this was the same tone he’d heard for the past year. The tone that clearly said, I’m so disappointed. Why don’t you understand?

  “Lori?” he said softly, hoping...

  “I love you, too.”

  The resignation in her voice yanked his stomach into one solid knot. He had to lean forward under the weight of realization. He was the reason for his wife’s sadness. Him. David. The fool.

  It was time for him to step up and reestablish his marriage, and for his wife to remember how much he loved her. David climbed from the car with purpose, headed into the house, and straight into their closet.

  After a good ten minutes of searching through clothes and drawers and shelves, he went to the bedroom. Beneath the bed was empty. Anywhere else his toy bag could be, was empty. Then he remembered Lori’s furious spring cleaning. He charged up to the attic, expecting to find his bag discarded beneath a pile of old clothes.

  Instead, he found the bag on a top shelf in the back corner, protected from junk. Not one speck of dust soiled the leather. Lori had obviously taken great care with their playthings. It hadn’t been him. Shame heated his cheeks.

  On the heels of his shame came hope. Lori hadn’t neglected their things; she’d taken care of them. Which meant she still wanted him. Still wanted their sex life. His fingers curled around the leather handles, easily lifting its heavy weight. David exited the attic, refreshed and recharged, inhaling the scent of leather cleaner.

  Four

  The silence hit her first. Lori turned and shut the front door. The latch fell into place with a soft click. She sat her purse and keys on the entry table to her right and took tentative steps into the living room.

  She was so busy noticing the absence of children’s screams and laughter and her husband’s voice that she nearly tripped over something on the floor.

  Her gaze dropped, and she readied to pick up a discarded toy, but instead found a dark brown leather duffle bag. Her heart boomeranged into her throat and back down into her chest where it exploded into furious pounding. Heat flooded her cheeks. Her hands shook.

  She didn't dare reach down and touch it.

  Tears swam in her eyes. She’d thought he’d forgotten about their toy bag. She set the grocery bags on the floor, forgetting their contents along with her anger at David for asking her to run errands on her day off.

  As she pushed them to the side, the plastic sacks wrinkled and crunched. She knelt on the hardwood floor, staring at the bag in front of her, wondering what its presence meant.

  Euphoria swept through her. David was sending her a message. He still loved her. Wanted her. Or—not. Despair crashed in its wake, and her thoughts flip-flopped back and forth.

  She reached a tentative hand forward and ran a finger across the top. The scent of leather polish plumed in the air, fresh from her attention last week. She knew it was pathetic, but every month she snuck into the attic to clean their old bag. To long for their old sex life.

  She trailed her fingers along the side, skimmed the seam, and grasped the zipper. She paused before pulling it open. Was this some trick? Perhaps a new form of punishment? Would she find it empty? Or worse, filled with his clothes?

  “I’m not leaving you.” David’s voice was deep, dark, and full of promise.

  She closed her eyes and dropped the zipper. Relief drained her strength. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes. Seeing that bag tore open wounds she’d silently nursed for the last two years. It left her raw and hurting.

  She felt a small shift in the air, heard fabric rustle. She opened her eyes. David squatted in front of her on the balls of his bare feet. Worn jeans graced his muscular legs. A white button-up shirt hung open, framing his hard pecs and chiseled abs.

  Her mouth watered. She’d forgotten how drop-dead sexy her husband was and how mind-numbingly intense his gaze. Right now, she had no idea what thoughts lurked in his nimble mind—and that scared the shit out of her.

  “How was your day?” The question caught her off guard, and she nodded without thought. Lori had seesawed back-and-forth, wondering if her confession had been the biggest mistake of her life or the best decision she’d ever made. She had prayed every day that David would see through her harsh words for what they really represented—her plea to him to come back. To be her husband again. To be her lover.

  “Don't cry. I know I screwed up. But I'm going to make everything all right.”

  His voice was the calm, controlled one she remembered. The one from before their relationship had been interrupted by life.

  She shivered. Anticipation tingled down her spine. David took a breath. She held hers. His next words could rip her in half or mend their broken relationship.

  “I want you to go upstairs. Take a bath and come back downstairs. No clothes. No shoes. Leave your hair down. I like your hair.”

  She knelt there on the floor, dumbfounded. The fear of David leaving had been a breathing monster eating her insides. How could a man with so much pride not walk out after the things she’d said? Her chest swelled to capacity, ready to explode with emotion. She couldn’t process. Couldn’t speak.

  “Lori, I love you, and I want to show you how much. Stop thinking and just let me take care of you for a change.” His words wrapped her in warmth, and she let him help her stand.

  “I love you, too.” Her voice hitched, the sob still hanging there, threatening to break free.

  David guided her to the stairs. “Then go. I’ll be down here, waiting.”

  Lori went up stairs, her stomach quivering. She didn’t stop until she stood on the white-tile bathroom floor before their Jacuzzi tub in the center of the master bath. The aroma of her favorite oil drifted up from the steamy water.

  She stripped out of her clothes as though flames licked their seams. She twisted her hair into a knot on top of her head and stepped in. Today at her hair appointment, she’d seriously considered cutting her long brown hair. It had been a thought of defiance against David. He’d always loved her hair. But there had been a part of her that thought, by shearing its length, she’d sever any hope of mending their relationship.

  Lori scrubbed quickly, nearly hard enough to remove skin. She looked for her razor and found a brand new one sitting on the edge of the tub next to her shaving cream. David had thought of everything.

  Once she was completely bare, she rinsed and dried, and then put on his favorite body spray. She ran out of the bathroom, pulling to a stop in front of their full-length bedroom mirror. The woman in the reflection was a little bit older, but still in good shape. And for the first time in a long time, she had a smile on her face that reached her eyes.

  David sat on the living room couch. His arms stretched across the back. His gaze locked onto her as soon as she reached the doorway. They clouded from quick silver to thunderstorm dark.

  Her heart caught in her throat. He still had the ability to freeze her in place with a single look. That look. The one that said he was in control.

  And she was going to like it.

  Her feet turned to mush, and she shuffled across the room, stopping between his spread knees before she c
hanced another peek. His sculpted jaw was relaxed, his lips straight. He stared at her as if she were the lamb before the wolf.

  She trembled, chills covering her naked skin. Her heartbeat kicked into high gear, and she tangled her fingers together in a knot of anxiety and expectation. The seconds of silence stretched out. Why didn’t he say anything?

  She couldn’t stand it anymore. “David?”

  “How could I have forgotten how absolutely beautiful you are?” He drew the words out, the slight lilt of his Southern drawl a caress.

  Tears threatened again. His voice was reverent. Honest. And God she had missed it so much.

  Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying. She wasn’t one of those women who was pretty and vulnerable when they shed tears. Her nose turned red. Her eyes even redder.

  And he thought she was beautiful.

  “Come here.” His voice didn’t waver this time.

  She lowered herself to his lap, unable to tear her gaze from his.

  “You’re perfect.”

  She flushed, embarrassed at his praise like this was their first time. Like he hadn’t seen her naked a thousand times.

  “I’m going to remind you why you married me. Its something I’ve neglected, and something I intend to rectify.” His tone was so matter of fact, so relaxed, but his eyes were stormy. Intense.

  Then his gaze softened ever so slightly. He caressed her cheek with his free hand. “Is this what you want, Lori?”

  The question caught her off guard. She’d already dropped into that space in her mind, the one where only she and David existed. She didn’t have to think about her words this time. She cupped his cut jaw, peace settling in her soul for the first time in years. This is where she belonged. “Yes, this is what I want. You are what I want. What I’ve always wanted.”

  He kissed her then, his lips the briefest whisper across hers. “I love you, Lori.”

  “I love you too, David.”

  He smiled, his lips stretching a little sideways. A smile that promised pleasure.